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MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE
Today, ‘I do’, tomorrow, ‘I nor do again’. Oga! You must do o!
Well, if you still size a man by packs, money, erection and looks, then you are not wise.
And if you still size a woman by beauty, ass, flat tummy, boobs, or complexion, you deserve to be committed to a mental institution.
Feminists say the reason our parents marriages lasted longer was because they stomached a lot of shit, unlike us who are not ready for nonsense. But I beg to differ…
I have come to discover that we are a generation that talk too much but are morally weak. We don’t match depth with character. We are noise makers.
Divorce is on the increase because we ignore ideologies. We just marry for flimsy reasons.
Tolu is good in bed? Marry her!
Churchrat is Obasanjo’s father? Marry him!
During NYSC, there was this guy that liked me. Very nice guy. But one day, I dropped him like a hot potato. Why?
That day, we were having a conversation at maami. We delved into the subject of money, and the next thing he said was: “Baby in fact, the way I dey find money now ehn, if my mama stand for my road, I go use am do ritual.”
Wow! I was disturbed. Although he later told me he was joking and that he was his mother’s favorite son and nyen nyen nyen. But I didn’t care. The mouth speaks out of the abundance of the heart. If you can ever nurse the thought of using your mother for rituals, then who I be?
But some ladies will hear that crap, and still stick around to laugh and drink coke. Before we know it, they’ve flooded our timelines with pre wedding pictures.
And while we are still oohing and aahing, Instablog will flood the whole world with their burial pictures: “Man uses wife of two years for money rituals.”
You see, God is not a wicked God. If you’re observant and humble, you’d see His finger. His clues. Humans are just too wise in their own eyes. We've become so desperate that we now major in our minors and minor in our majors.
Everybody wants to marry. At all cost. During the days of our parents, families sent spies to the homes of whoever their daughters and sons were to marry. They desperately wanted to know their backgrounds. Values. Character. And marriages lasted!
But these days? No time. Just see a fine girl/guy. Then fall in love. Then Drink zobo together. Then watch GOT to show that you people are woke. Then have sex. Then carry belle. Then marry fast before belle show. Finish!
Barely few months into the marriage, they’d begin to make statements like:
“Nnenna so this is how you are?” “Emeka I did not know you like this!”
Newsflash: you never knew yourselves at all!
You’re asking JAMB question? Well, welcome to the 21st century, where every atom of ignorance and stupidity is washed away by time.
On those days you guys went on dates, what were your topics of discussion? Nothing. You were only busy demolishing Cold stone and Pizza like somebody they just released from prison. Please keep quiet and stop disturbing us. (And I mean inbox and outbox.)
Listen! Ideologies are key. Learn to peg people to the wall, so their philosophies can appear.
For starters, I am naturally inquisitive. Even my friends know this. Except you’re not really my friend. If you are, then I should be able to Xerox tangible details about you, if need appears. I don’t take chances.
When you go out with a guy or a lady you want to marry, find out their beliefs and convinctions. Don't be moved by what they're driving, know what drives them! It’s important! Leave ice-cream and pizza. If you get this one right, na you go tire for flexing. (In Success’s voice). But if you jump this, that ice-cream will become bitter leaf in your mouth, tomorrow.
You want some questions? Start here. Others will come to you.
What’s your understanding about sex? Yes ladies ask. And be observant! Before you start making noise that your husband is bisexual on social media, tomorrow. Do you prefer working class women or housewives? Do you believe in God? Are you Pro-choice or homophobic? What’s your relationship with your father and mother like? Do you have a bestie? If yes, male or female? Where did you grow up? Who raised you? What do you think of men? What do you think of women? Do you believe in a woman having more money than a man? Do you believe in polygamy? Do you want kids? If yes, how many?
Know people beyond their expensive perfumes and designer shoes. Sit down and creatively discuss your destiny. Everything is not pizza and sex. When you’re marrying a man/woman, you’re marrying their plans. Their programs. Their ideologies. Their creeds. You’re either going to enjoy their peace or inherit their battles.
Well, how do you even know if someone is compatible with you?
Firstly, by knowing yourself. Sit down and discover your principles. Know those things you can’t compromise or entertain, and work with them. don’t let frustration land you into fire. Be careful.
Me for example, I can NEVER marry an atheist. Never! You toast me and you’re not a believer? Boy bye!
I am not jeopardizing the future of the generals that are coming through me. Just like John the Baptist, my babies are gonna be filled with the Holy Ghost from the womb. They’d confront the enemies at the gate according to psalm 127. So I don’t want no father confusing them with stuffs like ‘we emerged from monkeys’, when I their mother is busy shouting ‘there is God’ like Patience Jonathan. Tufiakwa!😂
Secondly, being God’s battle axe, I have the tendency to blast out in tongues at night, right from my dreams to reality. You know that kind of tongues that sounds as if a building is collapsing. The kind that would make the devil regret for showing up in my dream. Ehen! And I can’t risk a husband calling the psychiatric home or even the police station.
Creeds are people and people are creeds. I can’t over stress this. If you discover you can’t cope, nwanne’m gbawa door! Sare kabakaba! We can manage our pets, work paraphernalia and every other thing. But you see human beings? Won complex gaan!
Some guys are naturally stingy. You go out with them, you’ll foot the entire bills. Yet, some women still marry them. Tomorrow, you’d be surprised that he’s not bringing school fees and 'soup money'. Why are you surprised about someone that couldn’t bring T-fare when you guys were dating? Lmao!
And please, I am not saying look for a rich man and marry, or dump a guy because he isn't boxed at the moment. I just need us to begin to focus on virtues. Rather than ephemeral things like physical appearance, fleshly pleasures, and money. The most important part about a person is the Quality of their spirit. Other things can shut down at any moment.
So, inasmuch as you want to be comfortable and marry rich, don’t turn down a proposal from a Joseph in prison, because of a Judas riding G-wagon. A Joseph is a blessed man, and even if he is in the pit today, the blessing in him will eventually take him to the palace tomorrow. I guarantee you.
Remember, diamonds come in dull wrapping sheets. But they don’t stay that way forever.
Laslas, know God. Some humans are possessed chameleons. They can act any way you like, until they marry you. Then, you'd know their true colours. Please know Jesus.
Personally, I don't know my vulnerability outside God. The only way I can boldly predict a brighter future, is because of the Spirit at work in me...
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LOVE YOU ALL
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Hi, Its me Hafeez. A webdesigner, blogspot developer and UI/UX Designer. I am a certified Themeforest top Author and Front-End Developer. I'am business speaker, marketer, Blogger and Javascript Programmer.
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